#120 - Larry Doyle - The Man Who Showed Me How To Be A Man

What happens when you sit down with the man who taught you how to be a man? In this special episode of Soulture, I sit down with my father, Larry Doyle, for a conversation about faith, family, discipline, purpose, legacy, and what it means to live a meaningful life. From lessons passed down through generations to reflections on fatherhood, mortality, health, work, and personal growth, Larry shares the principles that have guided him for more than six decades. This isn't just a conversation between a father and son. It's a conversation about the values we inherit, the lives we build, and the legacy we leave behind.

Timestamps: 
00:00 Not Taking This Conversation For Granted
01:20 Living A Life Of Passion
04:57 Knowing You Want To Become A Father 
07:16 The Gifts You Receive As A Child Become The Gifts You Give As A Parent
09:42 The Gift Of Being Told To Leave
11:27 Our Relationship With Faith
18:59 The House That Became His Why
21:22 Motivation Before Starting A Family
24:35 Play Your Own Game
25:45 How Our Relationship Was Different
29:14 What My Dad Sees Of Himself In Me
31:16 Where My Dad & I Are Different 
32:11 Seeing My Dad Grow As A Person
34:36 The Greatest Gift A Father Can Give His Children
36:38 A Battle With Prostate Cancer
40:17 How Adversity Shaped His Character
42:26 Becoming A Grandfather
44:39 What's It Like To Lose A Dad?
51:42 What Does the Next Chapter Look Like?
53:51 Making A Living & Making A Difference
56:42 Thank You, Dad

Thank you so much for listening. I truly appreciate your time and support. Let me know what you thought of the episode and what you would like to see in the future. Any feedback would be awesome. Don't forget to subscribe for more exciting content on YouTube, and leave a review on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or whatever platform you are listening on.

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Transcript

Tim Doyle (00:00.47)

Larry Doyle, Dad, welcome to the show. Tim, thank you for having me. What an honor. I mean, I'm pinching myself. so I I very much look forward to it. Yeah, I mean, I'm really grateful to have you here because I don't think we can take it for granted that a father and son could just sit down like this and would want to to have a type of conversation like this. But even though we do have a great relationship.

There's still a lot of people or fathers who'd be like, that's not my vibe. Like, yeah, I really don't want to do that. But you are such a deeply passionate man. And that's the word that I keep coming back to, passion, because I feel like when I was growing up, like I always understood myself in a way that I understood you. And the word that would always come up for me is discipline. And like people would ask, you know, like, how do you describe yourself or what, you know, what are you? I'm like, I'm very disciplined, very disciplined.

And I feel like just within honestly, probably the last year. Okay. The word that comes to mind for me when understanding myself, but it's also like showed me like how I understand you is like, that is a passionate man. Where does that passion for life come from? And how long do you feel like you've always had that passion? Wow, Tim, I greatly appreciate that question because it causes me to reflect on

I don't know the last sixty-five years, but as I've grown, you know, I I've looked back at the history of our our family, not only my immediate family, but my ancestors. And I and I think of you know, both on on my side and on mom's side as well. And I think of the the ancestors that came to this country back in the eighteen hundreds from Europe and the courage that they had and and the the the fortitude.

in the integrity and the discipline. and and I appreciate that. I res certainly respect it. I want to pass that along. and I'm a highly competitive. You know, I jo I enjoy it. You know, I I try to live life to the fullest because as I reflect on on the past and I think of your future, you know, time time flies, right? So it's kind of like if time's flying, what am I getting done? Let's go for it.

Tim Doyle (02:30.734)

So it I appreciate the question. So do you think that like that passion got passed on to you? Hugely. totally. I mean and and what I try to do in my life is how do I take the gifts that I was given and make the most of them, elevate them, so that you can see that, you know, and embrace that.

Because to me, life is all about living it to the fullest. And not only for our immediate family, but for the impact that we have on others. And I am What do you think some of those gifts were? Work ethic, discipline, faith, integrity, education, competitiveness. I I I view all those things as gifts and then what am I doing with them?

and and how do I maximize them for my own personal growth and fulfillment. you know, sometimes I think like, okay, I'm I'm I'm a faith, you know, my faith is is everything as you know. I look forward to my conversation with, you know, our Lord and Savior. Like, hey, what'd you get done down there? And I'm in no rush, right? But

If we're given whatever it is, I mean we're not given tomorrow. Tomorrow is not a you know, a guaranteed. So if making the most of my life of but not just for me, for others, for our family, for you, for your you know, your your siblings, other people that I engage, I want to make a difference. Was there a time that you knew that you wanted to become a father?

Tim Doyle (04:24.584)

ver de most definitely. Most definitely. I mean, I think that I grew up one of eight kids, right? So family, huge family. I mean, six brothers. So it's I mean, famil it's began and everything was all about family and just relationships and love. You know, the love of family and and the pride. I mean, the the pride in the Doyle name. that that means a lot to me. along with humility though, appropriate levels of pride with with humility.

And the ability I mean, being a father is the greatest honor of all, right? The y I mean, there's not a close second to to bring a life into the world. I mean, absolutely. I mean, talk about a miracle, right? And so yes, I I would say I knew I I was like, okay, I don't know who I'm gonna meet.

Right? I look forward to it. I I was in no rush. I mean, clearly the most important decision in the world and you know, who you who you end up marrying, and think I got that one right. love mom and but yes, everything is secondary to being a father. So when do you think that are you saying like when you were a kid, you're like, All right, like I'm gonna become a dad one day? Or like when do you think it like really became conscious of like, yeah, I wanna be a father?

I would say that when I you know, during my college years and thinking about my immediate future, you know, from a professional standpoint, and then the idea that, okay, you know, I'm as I transition, okay, the competitive sports were were pretty much over. I wasn't gonna be a professional athlete. Okay. What am I going to to do for a living and and how can whatever I choose for a living provide for my family?

And I was I was definitely ready and and when I met met mom in nineteen eighty five and I knew in very short order this is the girl I want to marry and let's start a family and and everything that goes along with it. I mean it just dreams come true.

Tim Doyle (06:43.032)

Tying things back into your immediate family when you were growing up and transitioning into a father. And we talked a little about it at the beginning with, you know, the the gifts that you feel like you were given. Were there any other experiences or going deeper into those gifts that felt like you really wanted to transfer over, like were deeply ingrained within you in the way that you raised a family? Well, I mean, we're all we're all products of our own upbringing, right?

And as one of eight kids, seven boys, Boo was as as you know, an assistant district attorney and a lawyer. GG Your father. My father, my father, your grandfather, my mother, your grandmother, very successful real estate broker. but what those you know, those gifts and and it was work ethic.

Everything was work ethic, education, work ethic. I mean, I I lived, I mean, w honestly, in a in a very kind of closed environment. I mean, we had eight kids in in the family. It was kind of like, okay, you know, life r was around Ba greater Boston, and first time I was on a plane, I was 21 years old. I mean, it's like, okay.

You know, we're go we're going to the beach. Okay, jump in the back of the station wagon, right? So everything was about family. the and that stuck with me. That that's to my core. I mean, faith, family, values in in maximizing your gifts. so I you'll you know, love my my folks, but they were products of their upbringing as well, right?

And where my grandparents lived, and they in very short order, you get back to the late 1800s, early 1900s, and where the Irish and on on mom's side, where the Italians, you know, lived in these largely urban settings, in apartments, living on top of each other. life was not easy, you know, for the early immigrants, but they had work ethic. They had work ethic and education. That's how you get ahead.

Tim Doyle (09:08.588)

It's interesting that you use the phrase closed environment to describe how you were living when you were a kid, because I feel like from my experience and the way that you raised us was probably the exact opposite, where it was like, get out there, like do stuff. So going to that understanding of an environment, but just in general as well, were there any like forces that you like almost wanted to do the opposite or were like trying to counteract of like

I don't want to do things this way or this is what I experienced as a kid and now I want to kind of do things a different way because I saw maybe that wasn't the best way to go. No, yeah. I mean, I I I when I say closed environment, that's with no disrespect to to my folks. It was, okay, we have, you know, eight kids here. You gotta keep it you have to keep it a closed environment. Yeah, yeah, we have we've gotta have some, you know, some discipline and structure. I mean, to

I look back on it, I was like, my word. I mean I mean, teenagers, I mean a seventeen year age age gap from, you know, the oldest to the youngest. you have to have structure and discipline in order to I mean, and we're living in a decidedly, you know, great neighborhood, middle class America in a neighborhood section of Boston Mass. And it was just like, okay, you know, we gotta, you know, move forward. So

In terms of though, I think the greatest gift that my parents gave me was go make, you know, go make your dreams come true. Okay. My graduation gift from college, a set of luggage. Okay. It's like you're intended to pack your bags, blaze your trail, go make your dreams come true. Your relationship with faith has definitely been instilled in me from a young age. And I think that's

by far the greatest gift that you have given me is just raising me in a faith based household. And obviously I need to I needed to be receptive to it. It's not just like a parent can't just give that to anyone and, you know, not not all people will be receptive to it. And I've, you know, just reflecting back, I mean, I have like deeply ingrained memories of me. Like I can almost like see it of just like in your

Tim Doyle (11:30.4)

handwriting like The Our Father and Hail Mary on like a blank white page. And I still see that. And I remember I was maybe like a year or so ago going through old family videos. And I must have been like two or three years old, or like the like oldest, maybe like four years old. And I'm sitting on the couch and you're doing some stuff and you

Come over to me and you're like, Should say your prayers today at church? And I'm like, the way that you said it was like you were talking to just like a man. Like I'm like, this is like a two year old kid that you're saying this to. But like the way that you said it is just like, this is one man talking to another man or another, just one person talking to another person about faith.

Where how has your relationship with Faith evolved over the course of your life? Amazing.

Absolutely amazing.

Because when I think of faith, I think of the greatest virtue of all, and that is love. The love that Christ had for us, in which you know, our Lord and Savior, his son, sacrificed his life so that we could be saved. And I think of that virtue of love in the ability to to give love to others, right?

Tim Doyle (13:02.118)

It it it runs very deep in it's very powerful and it requires embracing it and growing with it. So it's grown and listening. I I I think the h importance of listening to messages, which at times at the time of the message, I mean I've had this happen so often you don't realize, but r reflecting back on on not only months, but years and decades like

Whoa, that that that situation, whatever it was, that was Christ sending me a message. And I mean, I I think of, you know, walking out of a men's prayer group in my early 30s, an individual telling me, like, how come you don't speak up more in there? And my response was, Well, you know, my my faith is deeply personal. And this individual is like, No, you need to share your faith. You need to share your faith. So you sh you're you should.

speak up in there. I think of going over to to an uncle's house and I give him the standard line, Charlie, keep the faith. You know, as he's on his deathbed, and he says, Larry, no, no. And I'm like, what? What? And he pulls me over. He says, Larry, spread the faith. It's powerful. And and it's not faith is is to be lived. To me it's it's not to be kept, it's to be lived in in that we can

in the in how we live our lives and how we in interact with others. And believe me, I've made so many mistakes in my life, but you learn from them, right? You learn from them and you try to live, in my opinion, a faith-based life in which you're making a difference in the lives of others. You, your siblings, other people whom whom I engage, friends, family, mentees, business relationships.

It it just I keep I keep coming back to embracing faith so that I've said this many times. I want to live in this world, but not of this world, meaning I'm not going to be captivated by what the world is telling me I'm supposed to be doing. and that to me is liberating. I mean, that brings incredible freedom. th it's not the the disciplines of the faith that restrict me. No, it it's the

Tim Doyle (15:30.178)

The freedom of the faith that that liberates me to go make the most of my life and the talents that that were instilled in me by my parents through through God at at birth. And that's what I I want to try to pass that along to you and your siblings, not so much by what I tell you, but hopefully by by showing you, okay, hey, mm that to me is is a more effective means of parenting.

I think that goes back to passion as well. Because I would say

you can feel it from you. Like there aren't you don't need to say it where it's like it just you can understand like, no, this guy. And when you do say it, it's like, this guy truly believes this. Like he's not just trying to, you know, spiel. Do you feel like so the first half of your life or like when your relationship with faith was just about keeping it and like the biggest evolution was about spreading it?

We all grow up, right? I mean, it it's it's like, you know, your early years, do it because they told you, right? You're just a kid. It's interesting that you say that because I feel like that's what my my my relationship with faith, because like I was saying, it was instilled largely from you. So my relationship with faith was, okay, Tim, dad, faith.

And that's like all right, like let's get rid of the middleman here. Like this guy doesn't need to be a part of that relationship anymore. Well, it it's it's all part of growing up, I would say. You're just being receptive to it. Let me plant these seeds and hopefully you water them and and nurture them and and and watch them flower and grow, and then you'll spread it. It it it's powerful.

Tim Doyle (17:24.513)

So it's not a do it because I told you. I mean, there's plenty of that out there, right? It's like, no, actually liberate yourself, embrace your faith, live your faith, and and I want to to be able to just as as you said, and I appreciate it, I want to be able to show that to people. So I'm not a you know, a a a preacher per se.

You know, I'm I'm gonna walk, I'm gonna walk my faith. I in in I guess and so that people know, okay, it that's that's faith walking there. And and and I'm a fighter too, right? As you know. I mean you talk about passionate, things that I believe strongly in, I'm willing to go to the mat for them. Stand up or something. Yeah, that that's right. Stand up, speak out, display courage and character. But again, that's faith on display as well, right?

I mean, our Lord and Savior and and and the disciples were like, we got work to do here. Okay, we're going to work. I feel the same way. To bring another word into it, motivation and going to that energy behind your work. Cool story and a cool part of your routine. It's something that you do to this day. When you would work and you would go into New York City for working and you would drive to the train station for people to understand.

The most direct route to take would just be taking a left out of our driveway. But instead of what you do, you take a right so that you can circle around to drive by the house early in the morning. And you said that was the greatest motivation. That's right. Is that something that just like naturally started, or how did you get into that? That's a good question. I don't know what prompted me to do that in the first place. But here

I mean to this day. I mean still do it to this day. I still do it to this day. And and why is that? I I I mean a lot of times people say, What's your why? Right? What's your why? And I think when I would drive by our home at whatever it was, five forty, you know, in the morning on the way to the for that six o'clock train, that was my why. I mean y you and your siblings and mom were I'm like, I know, they're in there sleeping. Th those that's my family.

Tim Doyle (19:47.544)

This is why I'm going to work, and I'm going work so hard to provide for them and everything that goes along with providing for a family, not not just monetarily, but everything, support, leadership, vision, discipline. And that I mean, to this day, I look at that that home, that's my why. Because it's not just the home itself, it's our family. Okay? As as you and your siblings.

Blaze your own trails and and chase your dreams and make those come true. I think, you know, mom and I take incredible pride in that, but it goes back to, okay, what am I doing here on this earth? Right? My family, it begins with my family. My family is an extension of my faith. Okay, I'm gonna go make a difference here. And then when I looked at the home, it's like, I'm gonna make a difference.

And and it's the I mean, the motivation. I'm getting I'm getting more energetic as I age.

Motivation before you started a family, what did that feel like?

That was awesome too. I literally, and I've said this to to many, many of my mentees, I wasn't taking no for an answer. That wasn't gonna happen. You can say no to me all you want. I'm just gonna keep moving forward. I mean, before I got the job offers that I received on Wall Street, I I got rejected sixteen times. And I'm thinking, you're you're gonna hire me in a year from now or five years from now. I'm not taking no for an answer. And and this was, I think, instilled for me at a very early age.

Tim Doyle (21:28.332)

Really I've always been highly motivated, whatever it is. I mean, we all are limited by our t our innate talents, but I'm like, I'm gonna make the most of these. And and God was I, you know, thank thank the Lord every day for the for the talents that he instilled in me. And I I'm gonna I'm gonna max these out. How high is up? Let's keep going, right? And so

Yeah. I mean that that motivation from very early on. I mean, as as a kid, I mean, swimming races. It was like, okay, if somebody's gonna win, there's no reason why it can't and shouldn't be me, right? And and everything else that I mean, I always always highly motivated and disciplined. And it was like if things were getting in in the way of what I was trying to accomplish, I I I literally I I don't have time for those things.

Were there ever any moments or experiences where you feel like that motivation started to waver? Never. All right, Larry Doyle just hundred percent motivated throughout his entire life. Pretty much, right? Well, to me, it was all about just I I I was always a big believer that, okay, if somebody if there if there's a job to be done and I'm interested in it and and I find it, you know, both a w more than a worthwhile pursuit, a

a a desired pursuit, let's go for it. Somebody can always reject me or say no, but it's not going to be from lack of motivation, lack of effort, lack of preparation. To me it's that this is really where it gets fun. It's like, hey, we're going for it, right? I mean, there's a degree of risk there. Let's let's embrace that risk. And it it gets fun. I think when we're talking about the word fun, you need to understand that life is a game.

And yeah. And something that you had shared with me when I think I was in eighth or ninth grade and I remember when I shared it with you, you didn't remember it, but using the line, play your own game, how does it feel like you've done that throughout your life?

Tim Doyle (23:39.83)

Yeah, I I I fully believe that that's the way to to approach life, right? So you're not subject to you know, somebody who perhaps you either respect only to a certain degree or you're limited by your own work ethic, disciplines, preparation. That to me is restricting and and controlling instead of liberating and and freedom.

To me, the greatest asset one can have is time. Okay. So how do I maximize my time? Okay, generate results, right? Generate results. Those lead to other opportunities. So just that to me is it just becomes a mindset and a way of life. Have you reflected on it all about our relationship and how you may have a different relationship?

compared with my other siblings. And I'm strictly just talking about this from the standpoint of my upbringing. And like I think I was in third grade when you started working from home. And then in sixth grade, I was the only one in the house. So it was just like you and me had the direct relationship. And obviously three older siblings, it was kind of a much more dynamic, but this was more one on one. Have you reflected on that or like

What are your thoughts there? Yeah, I've I've reflected on that a lot in that I'm a human being just like everybody else. Okay. A product of my own upbringing makes plenty of mistakes. You learn from your mistakes. I made plenty of mistakes and you try to learn from them. You know, forever grateful f for mom because we're a partners, you know, a partnership in raising our raising our family. And I think I've had a meaningful impact on mom's growth, personal growth.

She certainly has had a huge impact on me, but that's what you want in a in a marriage. So I I reflect on that in a in a meaningful way over the course of my own personal growth. How do I grow as a person? And because when we're I'm not a finished product even right now. You know, 65 years of age. I'm still growing. I'm still learning. so yes, I mean but again, it it those early years.

Tim Doyle (26:03.894)

What did I know? I knew what, you know, what I learned and what was instilled in me, you know, growing up in this household with my parents and and eight, you know, my seven siblings and myself. That's what I knew. Okay. Unquestioned love. I mean, love off the charts, personality. And but there's, you know, there's 10 people in this house, right? It's like total line, right?

What have been some of those reflections, I guess, reflecting on our relationship, going to like I I was saying, we had a very just like one-to-one relationship. What those reflections been like? the reflections have been, Tim, you you've you've been blessed with tremendous gifts, as have your siblings. Same gene pool. Some genes are expressed, others are either not expressed or or they're

So same gene pool, make the most of your gifts. Right. Just go for it. Play your play your own game. Don't, don't listen to yourself. Listen to you your your your own heart, your own soul, your own mind. Determine, you know, what you believe to be true and and and right and honorable. And go for it, right? It's so that I reflect on that, and you know, just like as I go for it in my own life.

You know, you go for it in in your life so that you don't look back and like, I wish I had done this or I wish I had done that. You might you might think do things like, Okay, I'm learning from this. So life is not a straight line. Just keep going down that road though. And it's like, whoa, look what's over here, right? So that that to me is

Commit to excellence, which you clearly have, good things happen. I'm obviously not a father, but I would imagine in the eyes of a father, one a lot of those reflections are like, I see a lot of myself and my son. I'm curious to know what do you see as a lot of similarities between me and you, but also what do you think are some differences? Wow. Great question.

Tim Doyle (28:25.388)

Certainly the discipline and the work ethic. I mean, Tim, honestly, your disciplines and your work ethic outpaces mine. And mine goes to passion though as well. Because like I would say the thing that you've given me and one of those similarities, like, yeah, my father's deeply passionate and I'm passionate as well. It it it it shows. And I think the growth personal growth and fulfillment and and the the meaningful personal and professional successes that you have had.

with an incredibly bright, you know, trail in front of you. so so I I think your disciplines, your your intellectual curiosity, huge. Huge, right? Because it's like, okay, learning. Okay, the more you learn, the more that you can question, the more that you can question, the more that you learn. If you end up with more information than other people, let's go, right?

I mean, talk about being in a competitive advantage if you've got more information, but that they sharing that information helps grow relationships and it just all it just all circles up and it gets interesting. You you develop these relationships. So I'm I'm information, intellectual curiosity, relationships, making an impact, going for it, right? If somebody's gonna do it, why why shouldn't it be me, right?

Let's have fun some fun here. If we do that, it's like, what makes that individual think that he can do this? Well, nobody told him that I can't. Right? To the fun side of that question now, where do you think Larry Doyle and Tim Doyle are different?

again, great question.

Tim Doyle (30:15.7)

You to me, you have the best of mom's you know, talents and sensitivities and personality and warmth. you know, to a much greater degree, certainly th than I do. I was smart enough to marry her though, so you can thank me for that, right? So you have

I I I think you're you're you're more s more sensitive, warmer, more engaging. I mean, light years ahead of me in those regards. I feel like that's where your growth has come in though, where I feel like over the course of your life. Because it's cool, I feel like from a son's perspective, as I I have gotten older, I've stopped seeing you as like, just like this guy's a finished product.

Because I feel like when you're growing up, you just understand your parents as almost like in a god in a way. And just like I said, a finished product. But as I've gotten older, I'm like, man, that guy's seen some serious growth. I appreciate you saying that. to me, the idea of plateauing in life actually represents the greatest risk. I'm a big, big believer in understanding risks.

Embracing them, and and not continuing to grow personally and professionally is an an enormous risk. and as I reflected on that, I would say throughout my thirties and into my forties, I was like, I need to sc I need to keep growing. Okay. W what are the things that I can and should be doing better? Right? Let me address those. Let me w let me work on them.

I mean, far from perfect, there's no doubt about that. But I th I'd I'd like to think that I try hard, right? What do you think some of those things were? Or what came top to mind at the time? Speak too quickly, you know, before, you know, what do they say? Put put mind in in motion before, you know, mouth and gear or something like that, right? It's like, what the hell do you say that for?

Tim Doyle (32:40.226)

Right? It's like okay, so I gotta dial it back. That is that's part of my DNA, right? It's just like, what? You know, it's like, whoa, you know, I mean, huge I don't think I've got a bite, but I've probably got a bark, right? And so that that's something where it's like, okay, dial it down, calm it down, be reflective, okay. We'll we'll work our way through this. And honestly, I owe

most almost all of that to mom. You know, that that shaught me like, whoa, wait a second, right? Slow it down here. Just take a deep breath. I wanna talk about mom a little bit more. And I think one of the greatest gifts a father can give their children and it's not something that I really appreciated or I I took it for granted probably when I was younger, but really didn't appreciate it as an adult.

of father expressing obviously in the way that they act, but also like concretely with their words, expressing their love for their wife, obviously my mother, and understanding like this man is very faithful to this woman and loves his wife. How important was that for you when raising a family? Everything. Absolutely everything. It just I think the greatest

I'm not the only one that's ever said it. The greatest gift that a father can give their children is to love their mother. And mom is my world, right? I mean, how lucky am I, right? And and to me, it's an honor and a and a and a huge privilege to be able to state in public forums I love this woman, right? I mean, and I I get so much joy.

out of state stating exactly that, because to me it it it shows others, wow, good for him. Wow, good for him. He's standing up for his his his wife, his partner, and ultimately his family, it's so that you and your siblings can see it. I'm a big believer and I've I've told you this. We take care of our girls, right? We you know, we do. mom, your your your sister

Tim Doyle (35:05.624)

Grandm you know, grandparents, to me that is an obligation along with an honor, as as a father, a son, grandfather, you know, th this is to me that's it's what a man is supposed to do. Another one of those gifts that I think I didn't have as great of appreciation as a kid, but as you get older and you just have a better understanding of life

is the relationship that you have with your health and the way that you

Go into that discipline, go into that passion, but just having like a deep energy for wanting to take care of yourself. And that's an incredible gift to have a father in your life that wants to make sure that he is operating at the highest type of level that he possibly could be physically so that he can stay around for as long as he possibly can. That being said though, there have been throughout the course of your life a lot of different physical ailments. The biggest one

And I think at the time this was probably by design a little, I guess, but would love to understand your perspective on it was your experience with prostate cancer and seems like not sharing as much like in the moment with your family is not to scare them, but what was it like going through that entire experience? Start to think about your mortality, right? And

There's a history of prostate cancer in the Doyle family. So you know, I knew that I need to be getting checked, right? I mean, the DNA, I mean, the d the cake is baked, right? It's so how how how do these things get expressed? Okay, what's in that DNA? What might get expressed or or played out at certain points in times? This becomes a risk, right? So how am I addressing that risk? Okay.

Tim Doyle (37:11.21)

I need to be staying on top of this. Again, credit to mom because you know she's she fully understands and appreciates this as well. But just this idea of like, okay, I need to take care of myself so that I can continue to be here and and have play a role not only in in your life and your siblings, grandkids.

that to me is just like, okay, how do we mitigate risk in order to maximize opportunity? Okay, watch what I'm eating and drinking and and and physical activity, mind, body, soul, everything. It it so it's it's all of that together just comes to trying to lead a very balanced, healthy lifestyle, life. But what I like is, okay, well, that doesn't necessarily state

At what level? And and it's like it's balanced, but I want to be at a very elevated level. Like, let's go to the top floor here, right? And we'll be balanced up there rather than balanced on the first floor. You know, the views from up top are probably they're gonna be some pretty pretty spectacular views. Let's go check out. Let's live up there, right? but the prostate cancer coming out of it, that was that was eye-opening because the the the level of risk

that that I received in terms of you know the the type of prostate cancer I had, it it made me stop and think, reflect and realize, again, how fortunate I am. and so I'm very grateful to the doctor who did the surgery and for mom. Like we got to stay on top of this stuff. And it's not regular, you know, checkups and and continuing to lead a healthy lifestyle in every regard.

Do feel like you from my perspective and you obviously know this, from my physical ailments, I feel like I almost call it like the reckoning where it almost like it brought clarity into different parts of my life that I hadn't had because of that physical ailment. Did you have like a similar experience at all? Or like you were talking about you were reflecting on mortality, but did you find clarity in any other places?

Tim Doyle (39:32.376)

To to me, well, I mean, first off, when I was when I was a young kid for a year between when I was three and four, I wore orthopaedic braces on my legs. I think that actually had a large part of the formation of my own character. Because in the neighborhood when you know, we lived in a neighborhood where there were dozens of kids out in the street running around playing, and I I'm out there literally in these orthopaedic braces and

You know, I couldn't I couldn't straighten because my right leg went out at, you know, like a sixty degree angle. I mean, I ni I doubt if if I hadn't gotten that corrected, I don't know what the sort of impact that would have had on my life, but it wouldn't have been good. And I think that that, honestly, probably had a real impact on the formation of my character at a very early age. So health

to me is is always important in in physical training because it just all feeds into balance, disciplines, work ethic. If if I'm taking care of myself physically, then I can be taking care of myself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, they all t tie together. plus it's fun, right? It it's fun, it's rewarding. The gifts that come back, you know

competing, but ultimately I'm competing against myself in these regards. so yes, health, I don't know what tomorrow's going to bring, but I want to be in the best physical condition possible to to engage.

biggest chapter that I feel like you've entered into recently in this biggest growth phase a few years back, what's it like becoming a grandfather? unbelievable. I mean

Tim Doyle (41:27.982)

Bringing a life into this to the world, I mean, I was on cloud n not ninety nine, cloud nine hundred and ninety nine or nine hundred ninety nine million when when you were born and your siblings were born. but then to see

Tim Doyle (41:47.032)

You know, my own children bring life into this world.

i it it's hard to put into words, you know, how special seeing, you know, young grandchildren, papa, papa, non-na, non-na, right? And again, it just takes the the this this virtue of love to a level that is indiscri it it's hard to define. It really is. And just you know, as as I'm projecting out

However many number of years I I continue to have on this this earth, and thinking that this young life, bringing young life into the world, amazing. I mean, so we we brought young life into this world twenty plus, thirty plus years ago. And and so as the world turns, i again it causes me to to reflect. And so it it's powerful.

How can I be, how can I be an individual not only that our own kids can look up to, but then all also our grandkids now. Like, okay, just somebody to admire and look up to and feel feel proud of and with their names, right? That I mean, that name, the the value of a good name, right? I was given a good name, okay? It's important that I pass along a good name, right?

So that that everything.

Tim Doyle (43:24.994)

Something that I've always been grateful of with you is obviously we have a very open relationship and I feel like whenever I'm going through experiences, I feel like if a question comes top of mind, I can either text you right away or I can call you and be like, Hey, how would you deal with this or what's your advice here? There's a question though that when I do experience it, I'm not gonna be able to ask you, but you have

What's it like to lose a dad? To lose a dad, yeah. It it's hard, right? Because I mean, when when my dad passed away in twenty seventeen, y you just you you think back to all those days, right? Going to swim meets, football games, school events, family dinners, right? It

Yeah, p p the y the love, the y y the sting of that loss. But Tim, let me tell you something.

Believe, you know, my faith compels me to believe in a matter of time, I'm going to be with my father again. And

I mean, I to say that I look forward to that? Well, not that I need to rush anything around here, right?

Tim Doyle (44:51.64)

T D

The sting of losing my dad has passed a long time ago. I mean, after a matter of, you know, months, year it's still sure, you you you miss him, but the it is so overwhelmed by the pride of having him he as my dad in the honor of carrying his name. It's like, wow, awesome. He's right here with me. I he I carry him with me every day.

You know, I I I look at his his the the the the mask book from his funeral right there in my home office. It's like he's with me, right? He's with me. I've gone back to his grave in and and and praying, you know, to him like Boo, we got it going on, right? So I carry him with me all the time. So the, you know, death happens, death's gonna happen. We we get called home.

Right? He got called home. He lived an incredible life. I mean, incredible. What a guy. Right. So all these things, the, the, the pain of losing him is minimal to the pride, the honor, the just all these things. It's like, we're going the distance, right? So, so when I see him again, he's like, well, awesome. I mean, his his his go-to line was keep punching, keep punching.

Okay, just never stop fighting. That that other fella across there, he may have more talents than you, but if you wear him down and wear him out, you will win. And win what whatever it is that we're pursuing and we're committed to. I mean, I all these things are are part of, I mean, I was in the barber shop just a few days ago. I'm looking in the mirror and who am I who do I see? It's like, my god, that's dad right there.

Tim Doyle (46:52.36)

Right? I mean it's like I've become my father. Huge honor, right? And so the yeah, so mean the the I and I say this to others when they lose lose a loved one. I hope that the pain of the loss passes quickly so that the honor, the pride and the joy that you have as as being somebody's son or daughter or or

whatever the the relationship is, overflows and carries on. so that and I feel that all the time.

What was the pain phase like though? It yeah, you just you you you you reflect like, you know, this okay, this this person who raised me and instilled everything in me that is the person I am today is gone, right? Is gone. But but you know, my dad my dad's the last, you know, year of his life

Yeah.

it kind of pr it prepared me. It prepared me for like, okay, I know he I I know he's he's getting ready. He's getting ready. And his his faith was powerful. Powerful. So that I think that that helped prepare me. But still the actual reality, yeah, it it's you you break down, you you cry because it's like everything. It's the memories. It's the memories. So yes, that was

Tim Doyle (48:34.712)

But then you just, you know, I I think and it's like, what a guy. What a guy. I mean, this guy wore his heart on his sleeve. I mean, talk about principle, right? He stood up and no compromising in values. None. Right. And he came from a political family in Boston where, you know, Boston politics was all about compromising. And it's like he he was the most principled guy of all. And what a gift for me to to.

What did I get my principles from? Both him and from my mom. I mean, she was talking about tough as nails, right? I mean, so And it goes back to that lineage. Completely. It's like, how did I get so lucky to be b born into this line? Okay. Thank, thank you, mom, dad, you know, grandparents, thank you, God. But I've got an obligation to pass this on to you and your siblings.

that that's I view that as a serious obligation, but also an enormous honor. Like what an honor, right? And and so this is where my passion comes from. It's like, okay, I'm gonna make sure that you get a you I mean, you our name, our family name. There is no compromising, right? No, right? And

If that means that I'm gonna end up having some difficult conversations at different points in time with individuals or whatever, fine. Let's have the conversation. It's actually an easy conversation because there's no give when it comes to standards and values and integrity and all those things. With standing up. Not only for for us, but more so for others whom we whom I'm engaging, that I'm standing up for these people, right? And with doing the right thing. Let's go.

You've shared that feels like you're growing now in your life more than ever. What do you feel like that future growth looks like for you? I'm so excited, Tim. It it's

Tim Doyle (50:44.474)

I again it's kind of hard to put into words, but I'm running my race every day. Personally, professionally, relationships. I was asked by one of my mentees three years ago, the summer of twenty twenty three, he says, LD, why do you do some of the things that you do? And I said, Wow, yeah, I mean I said, Wow, what a

I mean, you're asking me great questions. At that point in time, I said, Eric, nobody's ever actually asked me that. I said, let me think about this. And I said, you know, it's important to provide for my family in terms of providing a living, but I think that that as I've gone forward in life, I think it's also important to make a difference. So I'm gonna both make a living and I wanna make a difference. Okay, how do you define making a difference?

Well, you know, why do we need to put any boundaries on that? Let's make as big a difference as we possibly can, right? In in terms of undertakings, efforts, initiatives, whether they're small things or whether they're big things. Because for you know, some people and you mu that might think, that was a small thing. In that person's life, that was a big thing. Giving of my time, right? A lot of it is has happens to I give of my time to others and

I'm a big commitment. Commitment is is hugely important. And how do we measure commitment? Well, if you can commit more, then you're not fully committed. I'm a big believer in I want to be fully committed to the things that I believe in. It's not like a measuring, you know, you don't step on a scale and like he's fully committed. No, you just do it, right? So that as you said, people can see that guy's fully committed.

Did you feel like there was any overlap there between making a living and making a difference? Or did that largely feel like huge overlap. Huge overlap. huge overlap. Yeah, yes, because that went to my professional reputation in terms of I can trust that individual. And you know, when you're working on Wall Street, okay, trust is hugely important, but not a given. I wanted everybody whom I engaged in business, I can trust that individual.

Tim Doyle (53:07.874)

Because that goes to developing relationships, doing business, being able to pursue opportunities. and and again, I'm a big believer, like, okay, if somebody's going to get an opportunity, there's no reason why it can't and shouldn't be me. I'm going for it. So yes, there would there was huge overlap in that.

it feel like within the I mean you I guess you you've retired from Wall Street now. Does it feel like you're largely in the making a difference phase of your life now compared to necessarily making a living? Or does it still feel like you're doing both? Bo definitely both. Definitely both. you know I I no longer work in those large banks. but you know I've got t two separate businesses that always working.

I always want to work. I i d to me, I mean, sometimes I I think w as I was transitioning my career, people were like, What's he doing? He's writing a blog. Hmm. Really, what was I doing? I was learning. I was learning. And I didn't honestly realize it at the time, but that that intellectual curiosity was a gift from God that, okay, as the world itself, our country and the world itself continues to evolve and grow.

Like what's going on out here? Okay. What are you know, risks, opportunities, r relationships, truth. I just w I want truth, pursuit of truth. Okay. And if we get the truth, then we can na as I oftentimes say, then we can navigate accordingly. But it's not somebody else's truth, it's the truth. The truth. And if I can eng learn what the truth is in the various realms in which I operate.

That to me is both liberating. It's impactful, pr you know, opportunity. talk about and make a difference. my word. I mean, immeasurable. So it how did I how did I end up, you know, going down these paths? Well, you know what? I I thank God. You know, I truly d I believe Jeremiah twenty nine eleven. I mean, I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord. Little did I know at the time, but he had plans for me. I'm forever grateful.

Tim Doyle (55:29.41)

The conviction with how you talk, your passion just comes through so much. And I love that that's the way that we started the conversation because I feel like for the past fifty minutes or however long we've been talking now, it's almost like just allowed for the canvas to s sort of show this is a very passionate person and can't thank you enough for being my father, everything that you've instilled in me.

We joke about you being my chief marketing officer, but it truly does feel like obviously you've been a father, but you've also been like a hype man for my entire life. And it's had a huge impact. So I just can't thank you enough. Well, Tim, thanks for having me on Solcher. Credit to you for what you've developed here. This conversation as I sit here thinking about it is really a dream come true for me.

Yeah, I mean, reflecting on my entire life and our family and everything that goes into it, y you and your siblings and mom, you've made my dreams come true. So I'm forever grateful. Well done. Love you, buddy. And we're out.